Better than Botox: Our house is getting a facelift

Warning: Totally mundane topic today. Totally. And today?s topic is  . . . swelling drumroll . . . house painting. That?s right. House painting. I warned you. But. This dull subject has me aquiver with excitement. It does. Truly. Our home was in dire need of paint. I do not exaggerate. Just ask the neighbors. There was peeling. There was flaking. There was fading color.

And now, thanks to Mike and Kerry and Juan, the house is taking on a glow. (Note to Kerry: Let?s not discuss politics. Please. We don?t agree. At all. Oh no. I hear you going at it with Mike now. Outside my office window. Oh my oh my oh my. No, Kerry. No. Don?t go there!)

Mike and Kerry, above, listen to a rock oldies station. All day. They play Alice Cooper. Alice Cooper. Isn?t that wild? I had no idea he still got airplay. None. Did you? ?Eighteen, and I don?t know what I want. Eighteen . . . .?

Juan, going it alone on the front of the house, is much quieter than Kerry. Much. Mike is quieter than Kerry, too. Now that I think of it, a baby with a diaper rash is quieter than Kerry. Really.

So. There you go. File your nails. Sweep the garage. Put Perry Como on the CD. Go back to your exciting lives. I?m going to check on Mike and Kerry and Juan. Painting. A facelift for our home. An exterior facelift. Is that redundant?  Mmmm.