You better sit down. I have something of import to tell you.

You?re sitting, right? If not, take a seat. Don't delay. Because you may well have the wind knocked right out of you by my news.

I cut out bathroom curtains today. I did. All by myself. Is that totally wow or what?
It was a spur-of-the-moment idea, inspired by a stroll through Linens N? Things yesterday. His Bertness and I were out doing our weekly errands, when we (yes, you may interpret that as me) saw a huge store closing banner on our LNT. We needed a nonstick skillet, and I thought perhaps we might find a bargain there. Not hardly. However. I saw draperies while strolling through the store, and I thought, mmmm, I can do that. I can. I think.

So. Today, I searched through my fabric and found a pretty white crinkled silk (or faux silk). Perfect for the curtains. Absolutely. I did not have a pattern for the kind of simple curtains I want, and a Google how-to search proved fruitless as well. So. I decided to rely on my imagination and my brain and a Sandra Betzina home décor book ? which had instructions only for fancier styles, alas. I ensured the fabric was on grain, and I cut. I cut! Without a pattern!

Now. I know you more skilled souls out there, as well as you bold and brave beginners, scoff. You snicker. But. For me ? timid seamstress wannabe that I am ? for me, this was one big deal. Huge. Monumental.

Now. For the bad news. I did not make the curtains. Yet. I did not even change the thread on my machine. Because my mission was interrupted by the Law & Order: Criminal Intent marathon.

You see, I have a yen for Robert Goren. Or as His Bertness calls him, somewhat rudely, I must add, Fat Elvis. And I will admit Vincent D?Onofrio has gone a few Twinkies over the line in the last few seasons. (Of course, when HB first deduced several years ago that I was somewhat taken ? I can be so very, very understated ? with Bobby Goren, his comment was ?Since when do you like chubby-cheeked fat boys?? And that was before Vincent?s Twinkie binges. Men. Sometimes, they just do not get it. Do not. On the other hand, Bobby could lose the belly and the facial hair. In a perfect world.)

At any rate. Tomorrow. Curtains. Sewing. I may not have a pattern, but I?ll figure it out. I will. I?m certain. Little Train That Could. And all that.

By the way. Have I told you lately that I love you? (Yep, I?m still listening to Van.)