You remember the bathroom? Right? The roof. The Cadet. The tile. (I know. I know. You are bored with this topic. Enough, you scream. Move on, you cry. But. I am stubborn. And this is my subject. Today.)
So. Amid this turmoil — or home improvement, if you prefer — the porch door
knob stopped working. Yes. This severely hampered entering the house. In fact, to open the door, brutal manhandling was necessary. I am not pulling your leg. I am talking about the type of forceful manhandling that could easily end in a dislocated shoulder. (Unless, of course, you're beautiful, strong, nimble Laila Ali.)
Anyway. This malfunction, in addition to the front
door handle, which hasn’t worked since long before we bought this house,
precipitated an unexpected — therefore unbudgeted — expense: 
New doorknobs and
locks. The company that made our old door hardware stopped making all but decorative hardware years ago, so a simple replacement wasn't an option. Alas. And the last time we called a locksmith, the bill was $900. So. His Bertness, Mr. Handyman Not, had to do it himself. With some help from a number-crunching friend. It took much longer than planned. And His Bertness only completed one door today. But. That one door works. Truly. The door opens. Really. I am beaming like a proud apron-wearing, spatula-wielding 1950s wife. Of course, now the paint (Pratt & Lambert Whirlpool Blue. Isn’t it fetching? Love it love it love it.) will have to be touched up. But isn’t the door handle gorgeous? Yes, ma’am. It most certainly is. I think I'll whip up a cake from scratch to celebrate.
Comments
Herb Koguchi on May 20, 2015 12:11
It sounds like home improvement is becoming a hobby of your husband. :-) It’s good to have someone in the family who can deal with door problems, repainting jobs, and storage room building. Good job with the blue door.