Oh. If only these two Oscar gowns were mine for the taking. March 7, 2010 17:55

J-lo_oscar Now, dear readers, I know I always promise to be brief when I share my thoughts on award show  fashion. I do. I know. And I always have the best intentions. Truly. I swear. (Or I would if my dearly departed grandmother had not always frowned on swearing.)

So. Quickly. Because the only way I could keep my eyes open tonight would be to use that nasty Clockwork Orange device. And I don't wanna. Because I do not like to suffer. I don't. Not one little bit.

So. Hold your breath no longer.

Favorite dress, bar none: J-Lo's Armani Privee. So fifties. So fab. And she always looks so bee-yoo-tee-ful. Know why? Cuz she is.Bullock_oscar

Second favorite: Sandra Bullock's Marchesa. Sparkly. Girly. Elegant. Dreamy as moonbeams. And didn't she just glow? Loved her rose-red lips. I did. I do. I also loved her side-swept straight long hair. Because it mirrors my current style. Which I am wearing because long hair requires fewer trips to the beauty salon. But that's another story.

(Excuse me for a moment. Time to switch Waylon for Ella and Nelson.) 

Sarah_jessica_oscarWhat, I must ask, what was Sarah Jessica thinking? This Chanel is a luscious color. But my warm and toasty feelings end there. My. Oh my. The less said the better.

Although I will say this does not look like a hug-friendly frock. I do love the makeup and hair. SJP's one caramel girl.

And Zoe Saldana's dress inspired love. It inspired hate. The full spectrum. As in, the bodice is outstanding. Totally. The skirt, though. Egads. It could be covering great granny's extra roll of toilet paper.  Blame Givenchy. Zoe, however, is pretty, pretty, pretty. As always.

So. There ya go. Now that I have done my duty, beloved readers, I am off to the land of Nod.