How casual is too casual? June 29, 2010 11:07 6 Comments
Imagine this dress with spaghetti straps. Push your imagination a little farther. Imagine the spaghetti straps tied in little bows right at the top of the shoulders. Imagine the length a little longer, the hem falling right underneath the knees. Relax. Go deeper into the fantasy. Imagine this dress on a woman in her late 50s. Imagine her wearing this get-up at church. She is attractive. Yes. She is. She sashays when she walks. Her hips swing back and forth. Absolutely.
But. You knew one was coming. Didn't you?
Am I being harsh when I say that this dress is totally inappropriate for church? Am I? Now, it would look adorable on a child. And I could even see it on a 5-year-old at Sunday school. I wouldn't think twice. I would not frown. But on a woman? No. Absolutely not. It's too casual for a grown-up girl to wear to a house of worship. Way, too. Way.
Now. At this same church service - last Sunday, to be precise - someone else was wearing jeans. Ratty jeans. Not pressed and spiffy trouser jeans. No. These were ranch jeans. Suitable for riding horses or roping cows or whatever it is they do on ranches. And these were not just any folks, these two. No. These were ushers. Ushers! Walking down the aisles and collecting money for the deity.
I'm not taking on the ranch hand garb. I'm not. Maybe the cowhand found out at the last minute he didn't have to muck out the stalls and was therefore free to saddle up the pick-up truck and head into town for church. But I will take on the woman. She's at church every Sunday. I know her. She always has her makeup on just so. She always wears heels that reach to heaven. And she often wears clothes more suitable for a picnic or a hootenanny than church. And they are often more suitable for a teenager.
I would dress her in McCall's 7675, copyright 1965. She has a lovely figure, this woman, and this would show it off. Yet, it is respectful of a place of spiritual worship. Churchwoman likes red, so I see this in red linen. View A. That gives her a bow, but a sophisticated, age-appropriate one. Truly. This dress is chic. This dress is feminine. This dress is sexy. And this dress is elegant enough for church.
And, yes, dear readers, I know the Bible says "judge not, lest ye be judged." I know it. And I admit to feeling a tad guilty for criticizing my fellow churchgoers. But. On the other hand, to quote a pal of mine who has a different perspective: "You'd better, by God, judge other people. They're examples for you. Watching them shows you how to act. Or how not to act."
So. I am curious what you think about casual wear. Do you think our definition of casual has gotten too lax, too broad? Are we simply too lazy these days? Are we unwilling to take the extra time to look presentable? Are we all just one two-sizes-too-small tee-shirt away from becoming people of Walmart?
(Yes. I am wearing yoga pants, a 3 Dots tee, and Merrell shoes as I write this. But, if I do insist myself, they are all attractive, and proper for my home office. And even Costco! Really.)
Comments
Toby Wollin on May 20, 2015 12:17
I’m not quite sure when this happened – probably somewhere in the early 70s – but churches got into this whole ‘we should be glad they even show up for services’ thing. So ‘dressing for church’ went right out the window. And then there was the whole Dockers ‘casual Friday’ that turned into ‘casual every day’ which turned into ’you’re going to work in THAT?’ I think people would like an opportunity to get dressed up more often. Church is a good place to start.
Denise Calhoun on May 20, 2015 12:17
I’m sure ministers would not complain about their flock’s attire. They probably are grateful people show up period. And I only started attending church again a few years ago. I skipped it most of my adult life. But I do recall when I was I was a youngster that everyone dressed up.
Dondi on May 20, 2015 12:17
Yes, I think a LOT of things have become too casual these days. When did it become acceptable to look sloppy? I have seen grown women wearing their pjs in WalMart – at 2pm for crying out loud! Lots of women in my area are so hung up on “looking young” that they dress like they are 12 years old (think low rise jeans and belly tops) and truly have no clue that they would look so much better if they were wearing proper fitting, age appropriate, modest clothing.
nommh on May 20, 2015 12:17
The way you describe the woman in question, it sounds as it she does not dress casually at all. Instead she seems to go with a couple of trends. One is mentioned by Dondi: Youth madness. The other is red carpet fashion which is just as much about clothes as it is about how successful your personal trainer (or your plastic surgeon) is in keeping you flabless. Then there is dressing in clothes my grandmothers would have regarded as more or less glorified nighties. What a pity. But can we stem the tide?
Denise Calhoun on May 20, 2015 12:17
Perhaps I did not do a good job of describing the dress. It would be fine at a picnic, fine at the park, OK at the mall. But, in my humble Southern opinion, it is much too casual for church.
I agree with the Youth Madness comments. The whole mutton dressed as lamb phenom seems prevalent today. It’s a shame. I hope we can at least set good examples; stem the tide, I don’t know. Maybe.
Susan Edwards on May 20, 2015 12:17
I don’t wish to cause offence but this is an issue I feel passionate about.
I’m slightly confused by this whole conversation – although I like to dress up and I take pride in feeling feminine, polished and “put together”, why on earth should it be any less acceptable to wear any outfit to church compared to outside of church. It should either be acceptable clothing or not period (e.g. modest enough etc).
I don’t think that your outfit in church and its casualness etc reflects your depth of faith, your relationship with God or your ability or commitment to “the walk”. In fact, I think a preoccupation with “church clothing” seems often to be a distraction from the really important things to do with being a christian and going to church.
However, I’m always open to others opinions so please let me know if you feel I’ve missed something here?